Ramadan Lectures1424- Good Manners- Lesson(28-30): Having a Cheerful Countenance.


Discussing some different righteous deeds:

 Dear dignified brother, we are discussing a new topic today which is having a cheerful countenance. Cheerfulness is the feeling of happiness that appears in the face indicating that someone is pleased when he meets other people, and it is the smiley face; the cheerful countenance someone has whenever he meets sh3er. There are some people who never smile- we ask refuge with Allah from this kind of people- as if they are always at the funeral ceremonies. The believer, on the other hand has a cheerful countenance.
 Allah says in Quran:

(Some faces that Day shall be Nadirah (shining and radiant)* Looking at their Lord (Allah))

(Al-Qiyamah: 22-23)

(Some faces that Day, will be bright (true believers of Islamic Monotheism)*Laughing, rejoicing at good news (of Paradise))

(Abasa: 38-39)

((Other) faces, that Day, will be joyful*Glad with their endeavour (for their good deeds which they did in this world, along with the true Faith of Islamic Monotheism)

(Al-Ghaashiyah: 8-9)

(You will recognise in their faces the brightness of delight)

(Al-Mutaffifin: 24)

  Cheerfulness is brightness in the face and a smile of cordiality.

 Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated:

((Abdur Rahman bin Awf said, "Allah's Messenger saw me having traces of yellow (scent) on my body, and he asked me whether I had got married. I replied in the affirmative. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, 'Whom have you married?' I replied, 'A woman from the Ansar.' Then the Prophet, peace be upon him, asked, 'How much did you pay her?' I replied, '(I gave her) a gold piece equal in weigh to a date stone (or a date stone of gold)!"))

(An-Nasa'i in his Sunan)

 These traces are specifically related to marriage, and there is cheerfulness which is specifically related to success, such as congratulating someone who got a high degree. Also, there is cheerfulness which is exclusively related to someone's job. For instance, a business man may have a deal which no one bought for a long time, but one day someone agrees to buy it, and so the business man is cheerful about that. It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that: The Prophet, peace be upon him, said:

((A Muslim who regularly attends Masajid to perform prayer and remember Allah, will be welcomed by Allah just as the family of one who is absent welcome him when he comes back to them.))

 It is a reference to the person who spends most of his time in Masajid; attending a religious lesson, praying, worshiping, serving other people, etc. Thus, the meaning of the Hadith is very precise; Allah the Exalted makes this person feel His Love to him:

((will be welcomed by Allah just as the family of one who is absent welcome him when he comes back to them.))

 How do the members of the family welcome the absent one who has been abroad for years when he comes back? They welcome him happy, delighted and cheerful.

 Let me make a certain point clear to you:

 It was narrated from Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her:

((A man asked permission to enter upon Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him. The Prophet said, "Admit him. What an evil brother of his people or a son of his people." But when the man entered, the Prophet spoke to him in a very polite manner. (And when that person left) I said, "O Allah's Apostle! You had said what you had said, yet you spoke to him in a very polite manner?" The Prophet said, "O Aisha! Have you ever seen me impolite? The worst people in Allah's Sight on the Day of Resurrection are those whom the people desert or leave in order to save themselves from their dirty language or from their transgression."))

 The Prophet, peace be upon him, used to have a cheerful countenance whenever he met people. It was said that he used to be cautious and watch out for people, but his caution never prevented him from being delighted with all people. He used to smile to those he trusted and those he did not. It was narrated from Jaber bin Abdullah that: the Prophet peace be upon him, said:

((Verily every good deed is charity, and it is a good deed if you meet your brother (in religion) with a cheerful look, and it is a good deed if you extend a helping hand to him.))

(Al-Bukhari & Muslim in Sahih, and Abu Dawood & At-Tirmidhi in their Sunan)

((and it is a good deed if you meet your brother (in religion) with a cheerful look))

 In some cases your smile makes your brother pleased and pacified, and makes your colleague at work at ease. It was narrated from Abi Dharr:

((The Prophet, peace be upon him, said to me, "Don't consider anything insignificant out of good things even if it is that you meet your brother with a cheerful countenance."))

(Muslim in Sahih and At-Tirmidhi in his Sunan)

 Anas narrated:

((A man came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, on a Friday while he (the Prophet) was delivering a sermon at Medina, and said, "There is lack of rain, so please invoke your Lord to bless us with the rain." The Prophet, peace be upon him, looked at the sky when no cloud could be detected. Then he invoked Allah for rain. Clouds started gathering together and it rained till the Medina valleys started flowing with water. It continued raining till the next Friday. Then that man (or some other man) stood up while the Prophet, peace be upon him, was delivering the Friday sermon, and said, "We are drowned; Please invoke your Lord to withhold it (rain) from us" The Prophet smiled and said twice or thrice, "O Allah! Please let it rain round about us and not upon us." The clouds started dispersing over Medina to the right and to the left, and it rained round about Medina and not upon Medina. Allah showed them (the people) the miracle of His Prophet and His response to his invocation.))

 Dear brother, had people had returned to their Creator and asked Him with repentant and believing souls to send down rain upon them, you would have seen the sky raining heavily.

 It was narrated from Abdullah bin Abi Talhah, from his father, that:

((The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, came one day with a cheerful expression on his face, and we said: "We see you looking cheerful". He said: "The Angel came to me and said: 'O Muhammad, your Lord says: 'Will it not please you (to know) that no one will send salah upon you that I will send salah upon him tenfold, and no one will send salams upon you but I will send salams upon him tenfold?' He (Abdullah bin Abi Talhah) said that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, ' Yes, It will please me.'"))

 It was narrated from Tarek bin Shihab, he said: I heard Ibn Mas'ud saying:

((I witnessed Al-Miqdad bin Al-Aswad in a scene which would have been dearer to me than anything had I been the hero of that scene. He (i.e. Al-Miqdad) came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, while the Prophet, peace be upon him, was urging the Muslims to fight with the pagans. Al-Miqdad said, "We will not say as the People of Moses said: (So go you and your Lord and fight you two.) (5.24). But we shall fight on your right and on your left and in front of you and behind you." I saw the face of the Prophet, peace be upon him, getting bright with happiness, for that saying delighted him.))

 A kind word might fill your brother's heart with pleasure.

 Let me ask you dear brother, who is the fool misery? He is the one who does not even say a kind word:

((You won't embrace people with your money, so embrace them with your good manners.))

  A congratulating word is one of these good manners. We are human beings, so we are used to these sublime manners of dealing with people. If your brother passes an exam, you should congratulate him. Congratulate your brother if he succeeds in his job or in delivering a speech. Also, if he is in trouble, try to calm him down and ease his worries:

((A good word is a charity.))

 It was narrated from Anas bin Malik:

((While I was walking with the Prophet, peace be upon him, who was wearing a Najrani (outer garment with a thick hem), a Bedouin came upon the Prophet, peace be upon him, and pulled his garment so violently that I could see the impression of the hem of the garment on his shoulder, caused by the violence of his pull. Then the Bedouin said, "Order for me something from Allah's fortune which you have." The Prophet, peace be upon him, turned to him and smiled, and ordered that a gift be given to him.))

 The Prophet, peace be upon him, could have punished him severely, but he did not do that. Have you noticed the Prophet's forbearance?!

You won't succeed in your life unless you follow the example of the Prophet PBUH:

 Dear dignified brother, our master Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, said, "It is a sign of intelligence to meet people with a cheerful look." If you are not a good man be at least intelligent when you meet other people. The issue is about using the good manner of talking to people, which is a sign of smartness. You can meet someone with a smiley face, understand what he wants, prepare a comfortable atmosphere for him and then meet your goal. Some scholars say, "We like lenient, cheerful and smiley readers."

 You could be a person who occupies a high prominent social position, so you keep over-serious in order to make people admire, fear and glorify you. Well this indicates lack of decorum as I said in the Khutbah. The Prophet, peace be upon him, used to laugh at whatever made his Companions laugh. Be natural; when someone tells a nice joke that makes everyone smile, you should not insist on keeping silent, serious and frowning, because this is lack of taste with those around you.

 As I've just said, the Prophet, peace be upon him, used to laugh at whatever made his Companions laugh, and he used to wonder at the same things they wonder at. However, I in return mentioned that exaggeration in decorum is also lack of decorum. The Prophet, peace be upon him, taught us that if we visit a sick person, we should make our visit short. It was reported in the relics that visiting a sick person should be as short as milking a camel. The sick person might be suffering a certain kind of pain, need medication, need a special care, need to go to the bath or be in an exceptional situation. Thus, make your visit as short as milking a camel Nevertheless, there are exceptions; if the sick person is very relaxed , has no health problem, nothing hurts him, gets enough sleep and he likes your company , you should stay if he asks you to make your visit longer saying that he is pleased with your company. In this case you should not claim to have decorum, and so persist in applying the guidance of the Prophet, peace be upon him, in making your visit short since your friend is comfortable with your visit. They say; this exaggeration in decorum equals lack of it.

 Actually I like this saying: "We like the lenient, cheerful and smiley readers." There are people who return your cheerful look 0with a frown and remind you over and over again with the favor they have done you, may Allah decrease the number of such people. It was reported:

((It is great treachery that you should tell your brother something and have him believe you when you are lying.))

 Also, do not exaggerate in your cheerfulness or in your frown and seriousness. Hence, man will not have successful relations with people unless he is himself. Therefore, do not be priestly, affected or isolated from people, but rather stay close to them. One of the qualities of the Prophet, peace be upon him, is that whoever saw him feared him, and whoever dealt with him loved him. A precise description is mentioned in the Noble Quran. Almighty Allah says:

((Verily, those who believe [in the Oneness of Allah and in His Messenger (Muhammad PBUH)] and work deeds of righteousness, the Most Beneficent (Allah) will bestow love for them (in the hearts of the believers))

(Maryam: 96)

 It is said that this love will make the other believers love them. This is one meaning.

 The second meaning: this love will make all people; both the believers and the non-believers love them.
 The third meaning: the love which is bestowed by Allah for them will make the believers love them and the non-believers fear them. The love bestowed for you will be love in the heart of the believer, and fear in that of the non-believer.

 The fourth meaning:

((Verily, those who believe [in the Oneness of Allah and in His Messenger (Muhammad )] and work deeds of righteousness, the Most Beneficent (Allah) will bestow love for them (in the hearts of the believers))

(Maryam: 96)

 This love is among them. I would like to say some accurate words: as long as there is love and cordiality among believers, this proves that they are believers, but as long as there are hatred, grudge and malice, these prove that they are being negligent in their faith. That is why:

(But they have abandoned a good part of the Message that was sent to them. So We planted amongst them enmity and hatred till the Day of Resurrection (when they discarded Allah's Book, disobeyed Allah's Messengers and His Orders and transgressed beyond bounds in Allah's disobedience),)

(Al-Ma'idah': 14)

Smiling in the face of your brother is charity:

  Dear brother, I would like to tell you a story, but I do not want you to think that I am telling it to remind you of a good deed that I did, absolutely not, and Allah is my witness. It is about a brother of ours who bought a house in a town in the east of Damascus. He said, "Every time some of my furniture loads arrived, my neighbor, who lived right below my apartment, came out and helped me as much as he could. He did that more than twice, so his behavior attracted my attention and interest; what extreme cordiality he had! Sometimes he would come and offer me tea and fruits. Thus, I asked him, "Who are you?" He said, "I am one of the regular attendants of Nabulsi's Masjid. They became friends, which is a very nice thing. Believers are brother, and they help each other. The man bought the apartment which was below the one of his neighbor, and while he was furnishing it, his neighbor helped him in carrying the furniture.

 The story goes as follows: the new neighbor said, "How did you get to know this Masjid?" He said, "By Allah it is a long story!" The man asked, "What is your story?" He said, "I have a cousin who is one of the attendants of that Masjid, and I was fed up with him, because he kept nagging me to attend the lessons with him at the Masjid. Actually I am far away from these lessons, religion and Islamic knowledge." This man was a very poor person, and he was all the time preoccupied with the anxieties of his living. He went on saying, "He insisted to come with him, so I accepted to answer his invitation just once in order to make him leave me alone." That brother came to the Masjid, and while I was greeting the attendants, his cousin introduced him to me saying, "This is my cousin", and I spontaneously shook his hand with extreme cordiality, smiled at him and asked him, "Did you like the lesson?" Then I turned to him and said, "You take care of him." What did all of that cost me? It cost me nothing. The whole thing was that someone brought his cousin to the lesson and said, "Mr. (Nabulsi), this is my cousin", so I said, "He is most welcome" I asked him, "Did you like the lesson?" He answered, Yes, I liked it a lot." Then I said, "Take care of him (his cousin)." That brother swore by Allah that he never missed a lesson ever since that day, only because of the cheerful look he saw in my face. It did not cost me a thing. I could have just greeted him normally with no signs of happiness in my face, or I could have not cared much about him saying, "So what" after being introduced to me, but when I said, "Take care of him. Insha Allah you liked the lesson", smiled to him and warmly shook his hand, I think that my behavior might be one of the reasons that made him continue attending the lessons. He said, "I never missed a lesson since that day." He was in a tough social situation, so it meant a lot to him when the teacher (Dr. Nabulsi) warmly and cordially shook his hand.

 A brother, who works as a teacher in Jeddah, told me about what once happened to him. He said, "I just poured myself a cup of tea, when the class bell rang. Our director is very strict, and he asks all teachers to head to their classes once the bell rings." The teacher did not want to make a mistake and come to his class late. He said that he saw one of the sorters of the school, so he gave him the tea. The next day that same sorter asked him, "Why did you give me the tea?" He said, "I wanted to be generous to you." He said, "I have been working in here for two years, and no one ever said a greeting word to me." When the teacher offered him the tea he caught his attention although the truth was that he was forced to give it to him. The sorter said, "I have got an M.A in Science from a country that is located in Southeast Asia , from the Philippines! The teacher said, "By Allah I didn't believe him." Thus, he invited him to his house and showed him an encyclopedia of sciences in English language. Once the teacher's daughter who was in the eleventh grade, had a question, and the sorter answered her fluently. "I was certain that he had got an M.A, but because he was poor, he had to work as a sorter." He said, "After a month or two, I used to invite him and his friends to spend the evening with me. More than twenty of them embraced Islam, all because of a cup of tea I offered!!!"

 It was narrated from Abi Dharr:

((The Prophet, peace be upon him, said to me, "Don't consider anything insignificant out of good things even if it is that you meet your brother with a cheerful countenance."))

(Muslim in Sahih and At-Tirmidhi in his Sunan)

((Smiling in the face of your brother is charity.))

 Humbleness, cheerfulness, smiling and optimism could be the reason of guiding people.

 I mentioned in the Khutbah a story about two Muslim students studying in England. They spoke both Arabic and English, so they used to spoke in Arabic when they were alone, but when their British friend came closer to them, they spoke in English. The same thing was repeated about three times, and the British friend noticed that, so he asked them, "Why do you do that?" They told him, "Our Prophet, peace be upon him taught us that "Should there be three of you, then let not two of them be in conversation to the exclusion of the third, because this will hurt him.", so we just applied the guidance of our Prophet, peace be upon him." He said something like, "Your Prophet is very civilized." After that incident he devoted himself to reading books about Islam, and six months later he embraced Islam. He said, "I never thought that Islam contains the etiquette of dealing with sh3er." . Whenever their friend came nearer to them, they started speaking in English, so that he would not get hurt! There are Muslims and Arabs who speak Arabic and English, so sometimes you find two persons speak a language which the third does not understand. Doing this is considered an act of despising him. Some people speak a language (a national one) that sh3er do not understand on purpose, thinking that the listener does not understand what they say. If he understands their language, they will be embarrassed.

 I repeat, dear brother:

((Don't consider anything insignificant out of good things even if it is that you meet your brother with a cheerful countenance.))

  The subject of having a cheerful countenance is:

((You won't embrace people with your money, so embrace them with your good manners.))